Just as I thought the era of skinny jeans, bad hair and black rimmed glasses was gone for good, it appears as though it is here to stay. That’s right possums; hipsters are not just some contemporary subculture of the 2010’s that will fade as society forays into new fashion frontiers. Oh no. Much like hippies (cuz there are plenty of them still walking among us), the hipster is seemingly here to stay. The chain smoking, PBR swilling perpetual pill poppers are growing in numbers far exceeding other societal cliques.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve grown to love these too-cool-for-school, messenger bag toting mop heads. Adore them, even. I enjoy a good snide remark and unknown indie bands now and then, so I feel as though I can connect with said hipster, in some sort of high level way. Idle chit chat in passing at the local record shop, and shit.
My last homage to the hipster – Hipster Nation – has garnered me tons of traffic to this here blog, suggesting that my peddle bike pushing compadres are somewhat of a phenomenon on the internet. According to my analytics, people are searching for “hipster”, “hipster fashion”, and “hipster bands” to name a few. There are people out there emulating the hipster culture wondering how, they too, can become part of this unbathed elite. In response, I’ve prepared another list of hipster habits, this time more behavioral:
- Hipsters skip. Sometimes while holding hands with other hipsters. This usually involves some sort of substance abuse, as it’s rare to see a hipster happily skipping down the street but it does happen. During full moons, mostly.
- Their pants are tight. I know I’ve touched upon skinny jeans before, but this is beyond fitted denim. I’m talking so tight you can’t sit down. So tight, their teeny weeny butt cracks peek out of their pants as they bike down the street. SO tight you wonder if the male hipsters are intent on preventing hipster spawns by squeezing their junk into oblivion.
- They play odd instruments. You’re not going to come across many hipster bands that don’t include a synthesizer or organ player. Other common instruments include the ukulele, harmonica, and the triangle.
- They hate Kanye West. The same can be said for a lot of people, but the hipsters hate Kanye because he stole their shutter glasses. Fair enough.
- They watch obscure movies. Go ahead; just try and talk film with a bona fide hipster. Guaranteed, you’ll have never heard about most of the films they’re on about. Think Duck Season or Harold and Maude.
UC (hipsters don’t double kiss)